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User blog:Roseluck/Isolation and Rejection
I've always kind of wanted to write about isolation and rejection in the RP. It always feels snobby when I do. But here's some little observations I've made. Appearing Open The craziest thing I've felt is how difficult it is to know or convey how 'private' a scene is. I've got 8,300 followers and over the last month maybe 10% of my idle scenes have attracted a mention. But for some reason my private scenes almost always get a few. And occasionally I've realized after the fact that what I thought was an idle scene probably looked private. So what can I do to fix the perception that Roseluck is busy if she's not? That's easy, but it's something some people have looked down upon: Bad: ((RP anyone?)) Good: ((Roseluck's shop is open, there's a small cart of tulips for sale!)) Good: *Roseluck is walking, lost in thought. She looks lonely, and would probably like a friend.* The first one isn't bad because OOC is bad. It's bad because you aren't making yourself look exciting. If someone's going to mention you, they're planning on spending at least 30 minutes talking to you. Especially if they've never met you, they want to be sure that'll be a fun 30 minutes. I don't think there's a difference between the other two. I /prefer/ the third using emote narration, but ask yourself if that's really different from the OOC. I don't think it is. But it's better than "RP anyone?" because in both cases, there's an idea: Roseluck's selling something special. Roseluck's thinking about something that's bothering her. They're hooks for someone to walk up and start a scene without thinking too hard. And that's a trick: people like "I have an idea" better than "bring an idea to me". So be careful. It really feels like these days if you don't OOC/emote you're open for strangers, they won't really come. Why? We've Stigmatized Joining Scenes "Scene crasher". The mere thought of being called by that descriptor terrifies most of us. But really, ask yourself which of these two is a scene crasher: #Mentions, gets no acknowledgement in 2-3 tweets, pretends the mention didn't happen and trots off. #Mentions, mentions, mentions, gets no acknowledgement, mentions, mentions... Pony number 2 is definitely a scene crasher and would get put on my "ignore forever" list. Some people would call #1 a scene crasher. I think they're too picky. If you can take being ignored with grace, good players ought to take notice. Anyway. The RP's smaller than it used to be. For 2 years I've complained that no one seems to show up when I think I look idle. I can make it more clear I'm open, but there's an even better choice: I can find people who are online and try to insert myself in their scene. Now, I feel you rolling your eyes from across the internet. "You're Roseluck! Who would turn you down?" Actually, a lot of people do. A lot of people are invested in story arcs and private scenes and I don't always know. I've been turned down while playing manes before. It happens. You get your feelings a little hurt but I feel like part of the reason people like Roseluck is I try to move on and keep a cheerful face. It can help to DM people before trying to join their scenes, or send an OOC mention. This is especially true if you haven't ever really met. It shows respect. Even if they say no, if you handle it gracefully you'll have made at least some impression. Really popular accounts might still ignore an OOC DM. They can get a LOT of mentions in a short period. Be respectful, and take "I was ignored" as a form of polite rejection. Of course, if someone chews you out, that can make you feel really bad. You probably don't want to RP with them if they yell at you for trying. Forget them. Always Make New Friends Every now and then try to make sure you RP with someone new. If you don't feel like entering their scenes, consider a pattern like this: * Tweet your "I'm open and free for RP" statement. * If a close friend replies, contact them OOC and ask them to wait a minute. * If no one else replies, start a scene with the friend. Consider accepting strangers into it, if your friend wants. This can be kind of tough for Roseluck if I'm doing a "shop" scene, because I can only really serve one customer at a time. I handle this by sometimes talking to the stranger first. I know my friend can understand, because I don't make friends with people who don't understand. I don't think you should have to ALWAYS RP with strangers. But if you don't, you help create the situation I feel like I'm in: I always think other people are busy, they always think I'm busy, so we never end up RPing with each other. The one downside to this: if you make enough friends, you'll end up in situations where two friends want your attention at the same time, and you have to tell someone no. This is a good problem to have. Good friends should understand what's going on if this happens. Make Friends OOC Too! If you have a good time with someone, send them a DM and let them know. If you want to RP with them more, let them know. Follow OOC twitter accounts. Get Skype handles. Join the IRC (which is so quiet and lonely right now :() The more you can surround yourself with people who are excited about the RP and, more specifically, interested in RPing with your pony, the more fun the RP will be. Don't hang out with /just/ one group. Try to know multiples! Odds are your friendship will last longer than the RP will. Daisy was my best RP partner, and it all started because I DMed her a page of "Hey, what if we were best friends in RP? Here's a lot of ideas I have...". Everything I've done with changelings started with a couple weeks of planning in private chat. Most recent scenes with Roseluck have to be scheduled, and I hate that, but I have a new job and little time to RP so I need to know in advance someone needs me. If you can take the time to ask me when I'm around and outline what you want, then I'm more motivated to alter my own plans aside to include you. It's a sign you're thinking about RP, and "bad" players simply don't think. Be Respectful Sometimes, even good friends will be busy. Sometimes, other players are just not in the mood for your particular pony. If you get brushed aside, be graceful. Drama in the RP feed is unacceptable. Rants belong in separate OOC accounts, or, even better, in private. Bolt and Skyra have lent an ear to my ramblings on many occasions, and usually the process of ranting helps me see that I'm just acting silly. If a character ignores you consistently, maybe it's just not meant to be. No one is obligated to tell you why. Some people respond if you ask them why. I'm always nervous to tell a stranger anything other than "I was busy and didn't think I'd give you a good scene at that point in time." I've had people explode after being told I didn't like their character. So I'd rather just ignore ones that make me nervous and be left alone. Category:Blog posts